Times have changed when it comes to being the boss.
Of all the shifts affecting businesses since the pandemic, the employee/employer landscape is one of the most significant. Employers feel like they’re walking on eggshells to avoid lawsuits, leaving conflict and performance issues unaddressed. Because managers are afraid, they avoid rather than engage with their teams.
What’s changed?
- The continuing worker shortage leads companies to make desperate hires instead of cultural fits.
- Employees are increasingly savvy about employment standards law. As a result, employee litigation has increased dramatically in the last four years.
- Employees have higher expectations about their work experience and how they are managed.
- Workers are sharing their employment experiences, especially on social media, and strategies on everything from how to manage a toxic boss to what you can and can’t sue your employer for.
The upside of this shift is that it’s forcing disengaged managers to grow their leadership skills. Blaming everything on “problem employees” is not helpful and leads to turnover. While it’s important to acknowledge these shifts, successful managers will need to adopt a more proactive leadership strategy, especially since the manager/employee relationship remains by far the most important factor in employee retention.
Research has shown:
- 60 per cent of employees leave a company because of their relationship with their manager (SHRM);
- 83 per cent of employees feel positive about their work experience when the relationship with their manager is strong (IBM);
- Employees rate manager support as the most important aspect of company culture (Tandym Group).
Dealing with difficult employees is an unavoidable part of management. However, it can also be a call to arms to lead better. An article on insperity.com (“Dealing with Difficult Employees”) suggests: “Take an honest look at how you’re managing your workforce to gain invaluable insight into why some of your employees are struggling and how you can help turn a negative situation around.”
There may come a time when dismissing an employee is the only option. But, more often than not, good leadership practices create engaged, productive team members.
From Problem Employee to Engaged Worker
1. Don’t ignore the problem
Toxic behaviours infect the morale and culture of your organization. A healthy, productive culture is the key to keeping employees engaged and excited about their work. If the team perceives you’re ignoring bad behaviour, it implies you endorse it, which could lead to some of your best team members leaving.
2. Embrace crucial conversations
How you interact with your employees is more important than what you say. If the only time you ask to meet with them is when they’re in trouble, you create fear that erodes trust. If performance conversations happen frequently, with kindness and clarity, you’ll have better results. Balance corrective and positive feedback. Look for things people do well and offer genuine praise. Normalize difficult conversations with the view that conflict is the path toward improvement.
3. Check your assumptions
There will always be people we’re naturally drawn to and those we find difficult to get along with. Recognize that how you feel about someone isn’t necessarily an accurate picture of the issues at hand. Assumptions lead to wrong conclusions. When we pursue understanding first, we often find we are looking at the wrong problem. Ask good questions to get at the truth rather than acting on your assumptions.
Let’s say Jennifer constantly rushes in late, frantic and frazzled. You assume she’s not managing her time well and doesn’t care about her job. An ultimatum based on your assumption to “show up on time or else” will diminish and alienate her.
However, a caring conversation coupled with insightful questions may reveal she’s recently separated and struggling to get her kids to school in the morning. A simple offer to shift her start time by a half hour reduces the anxiety she’s already feeling and creates gratitude and loyalty, addressing the real problem.
4. Create clarity
Alan Willett, author of Leading the Unleadable, says: “Exceptional leaders are fearless in setting expectations in clear language.” Further, world-renowned author Brené Brown offers this poignant mandate: “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.”
When you’re dealing with significant performance or conduct issues, a written performance improvement plan (PIP) outlining the gaps and expectations is essential. It contains a description of where the employee is falling short, the impact it’s having on the team/organization, and a clear set of expectations for changes and metrics that need to be met. A follow-up date is also important as is a notation that clearly states the outcome if goals aren’t met (i.e. could impact the person’s future employment).
5. Conduct frequent check-ins
All the energy you put into crucial, clear conversation is for naught if you don’t have a follow-up plan. Every performance conversation requires a “next” conversation. This lets the employee know you’re invested in their success and sets the expectation for accountability.
Document everything! A quick email to recap a brief clarifying conversation is sufficient for ongoing performance conversations. However, an updated PIP is essential for the performance management process.
“Know that excellence is achievable.” says Willet. “Be courageous and set the bar of excellence high. Provide the investment and belief in your people that they can learn how. The results will amaze your organization and your customers.”
Managing difficult team members is, well, difficult, but with a relationship-oriented commitment to supporting change, people can surprise you.
Tips to make a difficult conversation easier
Be bold: Fear of hurting someone’s feelings can sabotage the conversation. While it might be difficult to receive corrective feedback in the moment, most people want to do their best and will appreciate a solution-oriented conversation.
Focus on facts: Come prepared with examples of what has gone wrong, and specific goals that need to be met. It’s difficult for people to make changes if they lack concrete expectations. Avoid rabbit holes that can derail you from the issues at hand.
Manage your emotions: Creating strategies in advance to keep your emotions in check when having difficult conversations is essential to success. Don’t get lost in polite banter that belies the fact that you’re meeting to talk about serious issues. Be direct and supportive. If the conversation becomes too emotionally charged for either you or the employee, take a break and reschedule.
Timing and setting: Choose a private place where you won’t be interrupted. This will allow the person to respond as they need to. Make sure the timing is appropriate. Your bookkeeper won’t be able to process the conversation if they are in the middle of preparing a stressful month-end.
Ingrid Vaughan, principal of My Smart HR and founder of the Smart Leadership Academy, provides HR support and leadership coaching to small-business owners and managers.
